Personal boundaries are physical, emotional and sexual boundaries that are determined and applied by oneself when interacting with other people. By setting firm personal boundaries, you can feel calmer, more comfortable and confident when socializing with other people.
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| Personal Boundaries, here are the benefits and tips for implementing them |
Personal boundaries set by one person can be different from those of another person. There are several factors that influence the extent to which a person creates self-limitations, including parenting patterns, friendship environment, and workplace conditions.
Personal Boundaries and Their Benefits
Humans are social creatures who need other people throughout their lives. Implementing personal boundaries that are firm and in accordance with your needs will make other people appreciate and respect the boundaries that you apply.
When someone does not set firm personal boundaries, there is a risk that other people will act arbitrarily towards that person.
For example, when you don't apply physical treatment limits that you can still tolerate, other people can go beyond the limits and hit, slap, touch sensitive areas, or hug without your consent.
Not only does it disturb your comfort, gradually this can lead to abusive behavior that can endanger you. Therefore, it is very important to set firm personal boundaries and always consistently implement them.
Some other benefits you can get by setting and implementing personal boundaries are as follows:
Safer and calmer when socializing
Implementing healthy personal boundaries can make you feel safer, calmer, and more confident when interacting with other people. This is because you can set limits on what treatment you can accept and what you cannot, both physically and emotionally.
For example, at a hangout there is a friend of yours who likes to say harsh words or put other people down. So, if you have set personal boundaries and they are not in line with the values you believe in, you can decide not to associate with that group or person.
If there is an opportunity to discuss, you can express your opinion about attitudes that you cannot accept. One thing you need to remember, being good doesn't mean you have to always agree with everything, even those that conflict with what you believe in.
Become more confident in your behavior
Applying personal boundaries can make you confident about how to respond to other people's treatment. The thing is, you have clear personal boundaries that other people cannot violate. On the other hand, you also have to remember, other people also have their own personal boundaries.
So, don't always just focus on your needs, but you also have to be sensitive to the needs of other people and not force your values to be followed by other people. That way, a healthy relationship will be created that respects and respects each other.
Tips for Implementing Personal Boundaries
Personal boundaries begin to build as you grow in your family. There are families who teach clear boundaries from a young age, for example children must respect and respect their parents, know what words are not polite to use, understand what physical violence should not be done, and know ethics and manners.
If this is taught from childhood, children can grow up with firm personal boundaries and not be trapped into being a people pleaser. However, not all children grow up in ideal families, right?
Therefore, there are several tips for establishing and implementing personal boundaries from various angles, namely:
1. Physical personal boundaries
In setting and implementing physical personal boundaries, you must first know about your version of physical boundaries. For example, at the beginning of the introduction, were you willing to shake hands or didn't you want to be touched at all?
Or in a romantic environment, what are the limits of physical treatment that you can accept, are you comfortable if your boyfriend holds your hand or hugs you?
If you already know, communicate with your friend, partner or relative. Tell them that you don't want to be hugged and would rather just shake hands or that you don't like physical violence during intercourse.
If they don't know yet and have already done it without your consent, tell them afterwards that you are not comfortable with this treatment. Communicate in a polite manner.
You also have to be ready for answers from your friends or partner. If later you don't find a "middle point", maybe you have to accept that you and that person are not on the same path.
2. Personal emotional boundaries
Personal emotional boundaries mean setting boundaries about what makes you angry, sad, disappointed, or laugh. Usually, it relates to certain attitudes, words, or actions.
For example, when you fight with someone, without realizing it, that person ends up saying bad things about your parents or family or actually doing silent treatment as a form of dislike or punishment.
This then makes you disappointed and sad, because you have crossed your personal boundaries. After the argument is over, you can say that what he said crossed the line and made you uncomfortable.
Or if he uses the silent treatment as an attempt to punish you, you can say that this behavior actually makes you sad. By implementing clear boundaries, at least other people will respect your feelings and emotions more. That way, the relationship you have can be more comfortable and healthy.
3. Personal boundaries in the workplace
At work, you must act professionally when interacting with coworkers. Well, this requires proper personal boundaries so as not to get carried away by personal feelings. For example, if a coworker belittles your performance during a meeting, you don't need to get angry or put them down in front of many people.
Invite him to talk privately, ask why your coworker doesn't like you and what you should do in the future. That way, you avoid stress at work and lingering feelings of hurt towards your colleagues. After work, you can rest in peace.
Now, you know that personal boundaries are important and can be applied in various situations. So, if you feel like you don't apply enough or are even unable to determine personal boundaries, don't hesitate to ask a psychologist, okay? Later, the psychologist can provide advice that suits your personality.
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